My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
