I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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