Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
