We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
