Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Randomize
