it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
