how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
should my penis look like a turkey
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
