yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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