Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
