I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
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