Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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