So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Randomize
