In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
