The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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