Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
