I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize