I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize