I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
