peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
