Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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