everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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