apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
