i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
