i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
