No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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