Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
