I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
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