and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
