RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
