Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
