is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Randomize
