tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
