How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
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