have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize