I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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