haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
