Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Michael Bay diarrhea
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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