I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
