Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
