Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Pants are for mortals
Randomize