Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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