party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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