She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
