We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Randomize
