You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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