its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
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