I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
My penis needs a shock collar
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
