Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
