all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
