So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
