This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
