ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize