is your mom at the bar?
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
