i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
