just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
