My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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