i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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