Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
