Jerry, you need to find god
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
