How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Randomize
