I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
