Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
